Successful? 3 Dream Killing Reasons You’re Not 15


Success!  Every small business owner and aspiring entrepreneur wants to reach it.  It is the ever elusive, intangible Successful? 3 Dream-Crushing Reasons You're Probably Notthing that society says you must have in order to be somebody.  You have to be successful for people to take you seriously.  You have to achieve success to gain respect.

Success is defined as the accomplishment of a specific aim or purpose.  You become successful once that purpose is fulfilled.  Seems simple enough but why then are so many people finding it difficult to attain success?

Success is very much attainable for anyone.  It is all about perception, values, and beliefs.  What you think, feel, and care about are the biggest predictors of success.  If you are having a hard time becoming successful, there is likely a really good reason.  Here are 3 of the dream crushing reasons you’re probably not successful and what you need to do to change course.

3 Dream Killing Reasons You’re Not Successful

  1. You don’t know your purpose.  If success is defined as the accomplishment of a specific aim or purpose, then you have to know what that purpose is in order to work towards it.  What is your purpose?  It is one of the greatest philosophical questions.  So many entrepreneurs struggle with this critical step.  In fact, it is one of the primary reasons business owners seek out my services.  Ask yourself “why” your business exists. What impact do you plan to have by delivering your products and services? How will you make your mark in the world? What will be your biggest accomplishment? What legacy will you leave behind? Your purpose lies within the answers to these questions.
  2. You don’t have a plan. Once you know the “why”, you then have to figure out the “how”.  How will you create the impact? What specific steps will you take to get the job done? The primary difference between a dream and a fantasy is that a dream can be made a reality with the right plan.  Create S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and timely) goals and objectives with your purpose in mind. Think “big picture” and long-term as you develop your plan.  Make sure that your plan is written out as goals that have been written are much more likely to be achieved.
  3. You fail to take action. You hold the power to define success by the actions you take.  Put your plan into motion by working it. Recruit help and find the right resources you need to make it happen. Remain consistent in moving forward toward your dream by focusing on finishing one specific goal at a time. I tell my clients to use the W.O.W. technique, a handy tool I picked up from Marcia Wieder, America’s Dream Coach.  W.O.W. is an acronym that stands for “within one week.” What is the one thing you can do within the next week that will move you closer to fulfilling your goal? Do that! Even baby steps, if performed consistently, will naturally cause you to reach your intended destination.

Intentional directed activity planned around a particular purpose will lead to success as you define it.  Do you believe that you are successful? What makes you a success?  Let me know in the comments below and if you found value in this post, please do share it with your networks.


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15 thoughts on “Successful? 3 Dream Killing Reasons You’re Not

  • Roslyn Tanner Evans

    I believe we ARE successful even if our sales goal has not been met. I think it is how you define success. It could be strictly monetary. For me, it is accomplishing other goals. Bringing beauty to our customers & satisfying them, learning new skills, doing the best I can each day.

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      Coach Niquenya Post author

      I believe this too, Ros! I think too many people struggle with the “idea” of success because that idea is driven by the expectations of others based on the labels we wear. This is why the first key to becoming successful is to figure out what that means to you. By acknowledging your own mission and vision, your purpose, you are defining what success means to you and then can be a better judge at whether or not you are indeed successful. Too many think they are not successful because they are judging by what society deems success to mean.

  • Ian Campbell

    The “fail to take action” reason is one that I think many people can relate to. Sometimes we just get stuck and find it difficult to take that first step. However, once we do it makes the world of difference in many areas. As mentioned by Roslyn though, sometimes it all depends on how you measure success. 🙂

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      Coach Niquenya Post author

      The hardest part is to start! Spot on, Ian. Yes, it is definitely dependent on how you measure success for yourself. The world tells us that you are successful if you go to school, get good grades, graduate, get a good job, make lots of money, get married, buy a house with a white picket fence, have 2.5 kids and a dog. This isn’t everyone’s path and that is okay!

  • Beverley Golden

    Great tips as always, Niquenya. And yes, to taking a small step, something you can do within one week that moves you even one step closer to your goal. As far as plans, I believe some of us right brained people work in a slightly different way. Plans are a good base of course and then trusting the things that are coming toward you and being flexible enough to change course, makes a lot of sense to me as well. My believe also is we all are redefining who we are and what we want to share with the world as we go. What my goal or dream was when I was in my 20’s is so different than what is important to me now. These three steps can work for us if we see ourselves as successful. If we know we are bringing ideas and values to the world, regardless of if they have a payoff. It is all in the perspective and this shifts with age.

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      Coach Niquenya Post author

      Agreed, Beverley. What my younger self wanted from life is much different than my current self and I’m sure future me will have something else to say. Life is an evolution. We are constantly evolving as we grow, learn, and gain more wisdom. Success really is a personal journey but in order to get there, you have to know where you’re going. I totally hear what you’re saying about planning. I don’t necessarily mean “plan” in the traditional sense. Plans can be created on-the-fly which I am often guilty of doing. I use plans as a logical guide to order my next steps. Some of these plans are very risky and that’s okay too.

  • Deb Nelson

    Love these three tips Niquenya. Without a plan it’s really challenging for most people to find success. The advice to move forward is excellent – baby steps are huge in keeping us from moving backward or becoming paralyzed because we’re not sure what to do. Thanks for another great post.

  • Sharise Hemby

    Hi Niquenya,
    Excellent and well thought out blog! I love the “Wow” acronym..great way to hold ourselves accountable. What makes me successful? I found my why, I keep my end in mind, I set daily goals and I refuse to quit!!!

  • Renee

    Hi Niquenya!
    I agree with you that it is primordial in business to know your purpose, along with a specific plan for product-service creation, marketing, and business growth. And of course, you need to take action geared toward your objectives, in order to have success in business. Thank you for these excellent tips! Best 🙂

  • Sherman Smith

    Know your why, have a plan and take action. It doesn’t get any simpler than this but so many of us tend to complicate it even more.

    I one who is guilty of this. I didn’t have good detail goals to bring me steps closer to what I really wanted to accomplish. They were a bit too generic and I stayed stagnant in my business. But once you give yourself direction with goals you see how much you’ll move forward.

    And of course you want to take action. A lot of us have fear of failure and success although we want to achieve something that will be the tool for financial and time freedom. I say focus more on yourself and the right people will come into your life and support your efforts. Make yourself a magnet to attract those specific people!

    Thanks for the share! Have a good one!

  • Mark

    Thanks for the clarity of purpose reminder Niquenya!

    All three of your points are extremely valid and make perfect sense.

    But for some reason, tip # one really resonates with me.

    For sure, # two, not having a plan is critical. But it just seems to me, that if you really don’t know
    your businesses purpose yet, it really doesn’t matter if you have a plan or not.

    Thanks for sharing an excellent post!

  • Lori Ann

    This seems like such simple advice when looking to be successful, but I know that I sometimes skip these simple steps when launching a new project so I can get to the fun stuff…not realizing this is part of the fun stuff.